Art Happenings The Past 2 Weeks

I started a workshop called The Art of Wild Abandonment last week.  I took a break from the projects in the workshop because I wanted to create a journal page of a girl with her heart on her sleeve.  I've had the words "living out loud" running through my mind.  Life is about living out loud.  When I think about living out loud, I don't mean become a loud person.  To me living out loud means sharing my life, sharing the things I'm going through or I've gone through, live authentically, and not hide who I really am.  Everyone has struggles.  If we share our struggles and be real about what is really going on in our lives, we can help each other through...we can encourage each other.  God didn't want us to go through our struggles on our own...that's why He puts people in our lives.  I think sometimes we worry about being judged by others and so we put on a mask.  There is a Scripture I'm trying to find...it's about going through things and helping others through their struggles.  I found it!  2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says:  "God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.  He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others.  When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us."

The journal page with the girl who wore her heart on her sleeve, above, has put ideas in my head of making cuff bracelets with words embroidered on hearts...words like love, compassion, forgiveness, grace, and brave.  I made a simple bracelet this weekend, but it's not finished.  It has the word "brave" embroidered on its heart.

I got back into the Wild Abondonment workshop a little.  The instructor was talking about how we can create so many things out of circles.  I thought about making a journal page with buttons into a heart shape and came up with this picture that's above.  Love does hold things together.  People who loved me and cared about me helped me through a tough time in my life.  In the end, things got better than they ever had been.  My love for God, my love for those involved in my life and those who gave me support, helped me make the right choices. 

This picture of the house is a mixed media painting I made for my dining room last week.  I've had a house fetish lately. I put little butterflies all over because it reminded me about the bushes we have in front of our house.  In September, usually there are purple that attract lots of butterflies.  My bushes are sad this year with the lack of rain.  I miss the butterflies.  There would be so many, that when I would walk up my driveway, there would be this cloud of butterflies.  It's so cool!  Hopefully the bushes will be happier next year.

So I started another workshop this week called She Had Three Hearts.  It's an art journaling workshop on the hearts we share.  I've been told several times I'm brave.  That is a part of me I didn't see, but I do understand now.  Brave is my new word that sticks out to me.

I hope you've been inspired or encouraged in some way with all my ramblings.  :)  That's all for now.  Thanks for stopping by!  

Identity

People in our lives are like mirrors that we often look in.  We look to those to see who we are and how we should be treated.  Some might get a big head from all the positive images we receive, but there are those out there that put imprints on us in a negative way.  Then we take on that identity binding us to something that isn’t true. 

I grew up to believe I needed to be perfect.  I believed that I had to perfect in everyway for people to accept me.  I believed I needed to be whatever others wanted/needed me to be. I use to believe that if I messed up, I would let God down.  That is all impossible!  I use to get depressed seeing at how imperfect I really am.   I couldn't stand myself, and often felt like I was too needy, or like I was a burden to others.  Living that way caused lots of pain…emotionally and physically. 

When I was approaching my 33^rd birthday, the effects of living that way started taking a toll on me physically.  I didn’t sleep much and when I did, I didn’t sleep well.  My body started to ache…a lot and most of the time.  I would get shooting pains in my arms and legs.  Sometimes I ached like I had the flu.  My muscles in my legs, arms and back would feel stiff.  The felt like they needed to be stretched.  Lots of tests were run to figure out what was wrong.  Housework was so painful to do, but I did the best I could.  Luckily my kids helped me out some.  One doctor had me do physical therapy to treat my pain.  While I was doing physical therapy, I was really struggling to sleep more than an hour or two a night.  My doctor gave me a pill used to treat Fibromyalgia, to help me sleep.  I couldn’t believe how much better I felt physically with that medicine.  I didn’t change what I believed about myself, which more issues arose.  There were struggles in my marriage, because I tried to live up to being a perfect wife.  There were so many consequences coming at me at once.  Over time, allowing others to dictate who I was, I lost my real self.  During that time, I had a friend ask me what I needed and I didn’t have a clue. 

 

Allowing others to dictate who I was, slowing lost who I really was inside.  It was a long, painful journey trying to undo all of that, but it was worth it all.  I won’t be sharing some things on this blog, because I don’t want to hurt others and I don’t want others to judge those I love.  I do take the blame too, because I chose to live that way.

My hope in all of this is to help others.  I want you to know how special you are…God sure thinks so, and He loves you dearly.  You are unique!  My hope is for those who struggle as I did, is that you will allow God to help you change all of that.  Take some time seeking God and who He says you are.  Allowing God to tell me who I am is so freeing and I never want to go back to who I thought I was!

Journey Art Journal

Life is a journey and there is so much going on in my life lately...

I got an early birthday present from my aunt and uncle to buy some new toys at Dick Blick.  I bought a small Moleskine watercolor journal.  I love it!  Right now I'm using it for girl faces with quotes.  They kind of tell the story going on.  This girl I was inspired to make after looking at some eye candy in the Somerset Studio Gallery Summer 2012 magazine.  After I was done with the painting I added the word "waiting...".  My husband found out he may be getting promoted, but we weren't certain.

If my husband were to get promoted I could possibly stop working for a few years and stay home with my kids.  If that happened, I would homeschool them.  It's been my dream for years!  Some people think its a great idea, and some don't.  

My husband and I adopted two little boys when they were 3 and 4.  They came to live with us when they were 2 and 3.  It was a year before we could adopt them because of things slowing down the process.  Our little guys have some challenges that aren't their fault, especially with public school.  They are such a blessing to us and we love them so much.  One has Tourette Syndrome.  His tics have always been issues at school.  Teachers constantly pick on him about it...all but one teacher.  Subs don't understand it at all.  Every year I have to educate his teachers on Tourette Syndrome.  He has always had issues with being bullied, and his Tourette Syndrome plays a big part of it.  He also has OCD with it.  It's made him have to get up in the middle of class, move a chair to move something way up high.  If I could homeschool him, it would benefit him so much.  He has a hard time sitting still long, too.  There are things to use for homeschooling that would allow him to move a lot more.  

My other boy has ADD and ODD.  He's always had issues at school and we get called up to the school a lot.  He's had lots of therapy to help him cope, and we have strategies that help him think through things better.  I can help him through his challenging times, but teachers at the school can't so much.  His teacher last year was amazing...she worked with us so much.  It was his worst year behavioral wise, but there is great improvement.  This year will be interesting with the new teachers to the school.  If I could homeschool him, he would be in class more and I can shape lessons in a way that would benefit him better.  There are lots of worries and oppositions which is why I use the words on the picture below.  I'm trusting in God!

This next art journal page I made after we found out my husband would be promoting.  There are things we are planning to hopefully allow me to stay home and have the life I've always dreamed of since I was a little girl.  I've always wanted to be a stay home mom and I've always wanted to be a teacher.  I loved school as a kid and playing school was my favorite.  In college I wanted to get my degree in teaching, but I let the advice of others to squash that dream.  The words below are God giving my dreams wings to take flight!

We were still waiting on the announcement of my husband's promotion.  We decided to see if we could get our house refinanced to put our 1st and 2nd mortgage into one smaller payment.  If this all happens I will be working until next summer and after that I would be a stay home mom and homeschool my boys.  The journal page below I put the words "She was waiting for things to happen".  That's what I'm still doing.  :)

My final art page has the word "Hope".  I have hope that God will take care of everything and I should not worry.  Now for me to be patient!  ;)

Thanks for taking the time to read about my journey lately!  I hope to have some really good news and some art to post soon!  Who knows...maybe someday I can offer art classes for homeschooled kids.  ;)  

All my art was made with Caran D'Ache Neocolor II water-soluble wax pastels, Derwent watercolor pencils, Derwent Inktense, and Faber-Castell Pitt pens.

Waiting For My Heart to be Pursued Art Journal Page

Girls we are so worried, often times, to have a guy who likes us.  Sometimes we go through many ways to try to get their attention. Some of the ways we do that, we do it the wrong way and not the way God wants us to.  When we go about it the wrong way we create many problems and attract guys that aren't right for us.  The way God designed us is similar to His nature.  God wants us to seek Him, wants us to know Him and to love Him.  This is what us girls want.  We want guys to seek us, to want to know us and to love us.  We need to be comfortable with how we are, who God created us, and don't go beyond His measures to attract guys.  We just need to be who God made us to be and wait.  When we do those things, the right guy will pursue us.  We don't need to change ourselves to something we aren't.  We should be loved how God made us.  God didn't create us to be what others need and want.  God created us for Him and his purpose, which is perfect.  He wired you the way He did and He said you are worth pursuing the way He made you.

Ready or Not Here I Come Journal Pages

I finished these journal pages this morning.  It's represents me playing hide-and-go-seek with teach art journaling workshops.  I'm moving forward on this adventure, not knowing how it will go.  I'm trusting God to be with me and direct me.  Now I have to not be a control freak and go with the flow.  I can't get discouraged when I hear no's.  Eventually I will hear a yes.  :)

Take Flight or Stay Still Art Journal Pages

I finished these art journal pages last night.  I had been working on them over the past week.  On the left, there is a note I wrote.  Year ago, I was listening to the Bible on my ipod as I was going to sleep.  I heard "Cover the earth".  I knew God was telling me something.  The next day my husband was prompted about promoting and moving to Idaho.  I thought "cover the earth" meant we were suppose to move.  We went with it for a while.  It killed me because I didn't want to move.  I kept praying about what God meant by "cover the earth".  While praying one day, I saw a sign ... literally a sign and a sign.  ;)  It was the Sherwin-Williams sign.  It had a picture of a paint bucket pouring red paint over the earth.  It read "Cover the Earth" on the paint poured over the earth.  I thought maybe God wanted me to talk to someone who worked at Sherwin-Williams.  Now I'm wondering if I'm suppose to paint or teach others to paint.  I have a choice to take flight or stay still.  The choice is mine.

Get Out of the Boat Art Journal Page

This is "Get Out of the Boat".  I drew and painted it remembering a book I once read called "If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get out of the Boat".  The book is about the diciples when Jesus walks on water.  All stayed in the boat, but Peter got out of the boat to walk to Jesus.  Peter started to sink when he began to see his fears and took his eyes off of Jesus.  I have so many fears about moving forward with teaching art journaling and using it in a ministry.  I'm trying to not look at my fears and instead keep my eyes on Jesus.

King of Dreams Journal Pages

I started these journal pages with my new Golden Fluid Acrylics.  I love how vibrant the colors are.  I made these pages last weekend.  It's about my art dreams.  I'm giving them to God to see where He leads me.  That's why the phrase says "Let the King of your dreams give them wings".  We will see where this journey goes.  Last weekend, after making King of Dreams journal pages, I took lots of pictures.  I put lots of my artwork pictures together to use for inquiring about teaching art jounraling workshops. 

Smile Art Journal Page

This art journal page I made last week.  It's about some things that make me smile.  There is an M&M and a Skittle with arrows pointing toward each other.  The story about the M&M and Skittle is my husband invaded the kids candy from Easter.  They mixed M&M's, Skittles, and jelly beans all together in a baggie.  My husband didn't know and ate an M&M and Skittle at the same time.  His reaction keeps me giggling!  :)  There is a paint brush for obvious reasons.  I drew my cell phone with a couple texts from my husband when I was having a rough night ... they made me smile.  I drew a foot with arrows pointing to a big toe.  It's a game my boys and I learned.  The object of the game is to ask a question and the person you ask has to answer "grandma's big fat toe" without laughing.  For instance, I would ask my kids what they brush their teeth with and they have to answer "grandma's big fat toe" and they can't laugh.  It's gets fun!  I was upset one time ... I was crying.  My son said "mommy, I know what would make you feel better".  I asked "what?"  He said "Grandma's big fat toe."  He was right ... it did make me feel better.  :)

Sweet Angel Mixed Media

This is "Sweet Angel".  She is currently for sale on Etsy.com right now.  It is made with acrylic paint, patterned paper, stamped paper, and oil pastels.  It's on stretched canvas.  

Precious Love Mixed Media Angel

This is an art piece I worked on for a coworker who had a friend who lost their mom to breast cancer.  This is probably one of my favorite angels so far.  She has short hair like her friend's mom.  I added pearls for earrings and a necklace.

Roaring Bear Art Journal Pages

Three weeks ago I was feeling very grumpy.  I tried to take a nap, but I couldn't sleep.  I finally went down to my studio and decided to work in my art journal.  I picked up some bright colors of paint, that I thought wouldn't make a pretty page...my mood wasn't pretty.  After I applied all the crazy paint colors with an old credit card, I found a picture of a bear in a magazine.  I added him to one of the pages.  I felt like a grumpy bear.  I took some foam stamp letters and spelled out roar.  I felt like I was roaring at others.  I painted more details to the word.  Next I took a cloud stamp I picked up the day before, and filled it in with some paint.  I added others stamps too.  While doing all this I kept praying, asking why I was in this mood.  My answer came while expressing all my emotions on the pages.  Grumpiness has other causes....anger does.  There is always a different emotion causing the anger.  There was an underlying issue that I was able to answer before art journaling.  I was upset.  I want to teach art journaling.  I have dreams of helping others through art.  I had negative feelings of my dream never coming true.  After I finished art journal pages, I felt so much better.  I had so much fun figuring out why I was upset.  The photo above is that day's art journaling.  I hope you give it a try the next time you feel like you are in a funk.

Art Journaling

Art journaling is something I've been playing with for awhile.  I love it! I art journal pretty much everyday.  I have one journal that I use at home and I have one I take with me everywhere.  I use many different kinds of media.  I use acrylic, collage, stamping, watercolor, PITT pens and more.  There is no wrong way to art in a journal.  It's all about being free and experimenting.  It can be a private place to express yourself.

I'm hoping to teach workshops on art journaling soon.  I do hope to use art journaling in a ministry too.  I want to help others in healing, in seeing their identity in Christ, for connecting with God and for their spiritual walk.  An example would be when I was 3 to 6 I was terribly scared of storms. We moved when I was 5 and I met an older girl who lived across the street.  I remember she was hanging out with me in the hallway of our apartment complex and it was storming.  I told her how scared I was.  She told me that when it thunders that the angels were bowling or God was moving furniture.  From that day I wasn't so scared of storms.  So with art journaling I can use paint, other visuals and words to make a page of how I was scared, but God made a way to comfort me.  I even have a picture of the girl that I will put on that page.  It's neat flipping through the pages of my art journal seeing what I was struggling with or seeing encouragement for when my feelings try to get the best of me.  I want to help people see things differently.  I want them to see the good things in all the bad things. I want them to know how people will let us down and not meet our needs, but God loves us so much and will help us get our needs met one way or another.  I want to help others forgive others who don't know how to meet our needs, or are going through things and can't, or are selfish and won't help our needs.  I want them to trust God to change that person and if they don't change, for God to give them the consequences for it.  He's better at it anyway!  I want to help others see God active in their life, even before they really knew Him.  Those are just some ideas.  I'll keep praying and see where God leads me.  :)

An Angel For a Dear Friend

This angel I made for my best friend for her birthday.  She has been there for me during the most difficult part of my life.  Not too long ago she moved.  Was so hard to say goodbye.  I know I will see her again someday.  We write each other weekly when we have time.  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her!  Waiting for her to receive her angel in the mail was hard.  The day she received it, I was having a rough day.  She sent me a text telling me she loves it and that she cried.  Sure made my day go from rough to great.  It's my favorite text!  I get a smile every time I remember it.